ASININE LAWS ...(you will lol)

[Tony Spike]

in charles dickens oliver twist ..mr bumble once said ..the law is an ass

and these old ..and rarely enforced laws do nothing but prove it ...you WILL LOL as i share them with you now


In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.

In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. (guess brodus clays not going to wrestlemania then ..luc)

It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
(remember kiddies its arkansaw lol)


In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel.(well duh lol)

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven. (should still be in force.....casual sexism ftw)

In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping.

In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.

(this one made me lol hard ....no wonder the sooners are s***)

In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.

In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer  (.....makes you wanna become a cop dont it lol)


In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway.

In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear.

In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday.

In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.

In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge.

In the State of Kansas, you're not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street.

In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus.

In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.

In Galveston, Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street

In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight.

In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.

In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places.

In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.

In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts.

In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatos in clam chowder.


In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.

In San Francisco, there is an ordinance, which bans the picking up and throwing of used confetti.

In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale.

It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship.

In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.

In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light

In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on.

In California, a law created in 1925 makes it illegal to wiggle while dancing.

In Utah, daylight must be visible between dancing couples.

In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle.

In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street.

In Georgia, it's against the law to spread a false rumor.

In West Virginia, one can't cook sauerkraut or cabbage due to the odors and the offence is subject to imprisonment.

In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.

The law states that more than 3000 sheep cannot be herded down Hollywood Blvd. at any one time.(exept during the academy awards lol)

In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.

if i find more i will post them lol .....if you find more post them too lol

[Tony Spike]

british laws next

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down

In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen

It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (hmmmm ...might try that ....i dont mind them knowing anything ..i just wont tell them lol)

It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (they may take our lives ...but they may never take our freeeeeeeeduuuuummmmmm.........actualy since the city walls area is quite small im assuming once outside its any man for himself lol)

All swans are the property of the monarch and it is illegal to bring one to harm .....unless the date is the 25th of june  (.....incidently this is my birthday .....hhhmmmmmm swan birthday cake for me methinks lol)

And lastly here are some more found… on what else, a bad jokes site (some are already covered above)

Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of “harboring a Catholic priest” would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.

With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. Explanation: This law dates from the middle ages when there was no standing army, so in times of war each gentry was required to produce a quota (depending on its size) of knights, archers, infantry, etc. As the church was the only centralized instrument of bureauacracy (the lords were independent for the most part), they were used for such tasks.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. Explanation: The London Hackney Carriage Laws covers hackneys in other towns too and have remained unaltered for over 100 years. Firms have been known to manufacture very small bales of hay to carry in a taxi during disputes during local councils (who license the hackneys everywhere except London). Also the vehicle has to be tethered at a taxi rank, and the council have to supply a water trough at said ranks (that could be fun on a Saturday night!). The one about urinating against the back wheel is a Hackney Carriage Law too, and has also been done, on mass, during taxi/council disputes (allegedly).

The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I).

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person. Explanation: Introduced to outlaw “molly houses” which began to appear in the big cities of England in the late 16th Century. In these bordellos, homosexuals engaged in sex, sado -masochism, transvestitism etc., and they were perceived as a threat to public morality, and so outlawed.

Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).

It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI).

Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated. Explanation: Chelsea Pensioners are entitled to enhanced state benefits and subsidized accommodation, so pretending to be one is simply fraud!

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

Mince pies can not be eaten on Christmas day. Explanation: Ingredients of mince pies and plum puddings were pagan in origin, and their consumption part of ancient fertility rituals. The law dates from the Puritan era, the same time that dancing in church, maypoles, and holly and ivy decorations were outlawed. The laws were never officially repealed because upon the restoration of the monarchy, (in the form of Charles II) all laws formed under the protectorate were ignored as invalid.

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended. Explanation: Many terrorists in the UK favor the practice of placing a bomb in a bag, then leaving the bag to explode later. Since this became a real threat, this law was passed to deter the crime and prosecute those who commit it.

Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism. See above.

Those wishing to use a television must buy a license. Explanation: Unlike the commercial TV channels of the United States the two major stations in the UK are government paid for (BBC1 and BBC2) and have no commercials. This is also the case for the 4 government stations of Sweden as well. It has only been recently that commercial TV channels have been available to the public. The licence pays for the shows and the costs needed to run the stations. It also covers various taxes not noticed in the US. The taxes exist in the States, but with several hundred million people more in the States the tax is divided up into MUCH smaller bits.

It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour. Explanation: The law dates from the renegotiation of royal/political power on the accession of Charles II, designed to stop the MPs storming the house if it makes a decision they disapprove of. The Monarch is not allowed to enter the House of Commons (the legislative house) for similar reasons  covered in the top lot

Destroying or defacing money is illegal.

If a steam locomotive (traction engine ..not a train knumbnuts lol) is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby. (the woman law is the same but applies to all vehicles)

All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.

Anal sex is prohibited. (f*** ...or not as it seems lol)

You may not make out in public.

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. Explanation: One of many Hackney Carriage Laws that have been unaltered for over 100 years, and it has alledgedly been done on mass during taxi/council disputes.

Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.

Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.

Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.

One may not “blemish the peace”.

A license is required to keep a lunatic. (you guys are f***ed if i stick around lol)

Damaging the grass is illegal.

In Chester, you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close in Hereford.

In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

In London, companies may vote in local elections.

In York, excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow. (invasion by scots were a great threat when this law was passed) again ....covered in the top lot

[Volrath]

I don't want to live in this planet anymore! XD

[Teknoman]

Ha ha ha thats just ridiculous (and funny)... i also found some others

Raising a pig on Israeli soil will result in the murder of said pig.

In Israel picking one’s nose on the Sabbath is illegal.

Edit:

a few more...

In Colorado it is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence of alcohol.

In Alamosa Colorado throwing missiles at cars is illegal.

In Alaska it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

Also in Alaska: It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

[nj_devil_child]

Here in New Jersey, it's illegal to slurp your soup

and in Florida it's illegal to tie your alligator to a street post after 6pm.

[Tony Spike]

so let me get this strait ....not only is it an offence to get a moose drunk then push said moose out of an airplane ....but its also illegal to watch that moose on the way down lol

what if you wanted to do that to sarah palin .....you guys are no fun lol